"Nobody Doesn't Like Arnold" transcript
Scene 1: The PS 118 School lunch room Sighs Depressingly Principal Wartz: “No sighing in detention, Arnold.” Arnold: “Yes, Principal Wartz, sorry, Principal Wartz.” The scene cuts to Gerald, Phoebe, Harold, Sid, Stinky, Rhonda, Sheena, Lila, Eugene and Brainy outside on the school courtyard. Gerald: “Aw, man, the school courtyard just isn’t the same when Arnold’s in detention.” Phoebe: “It’s true, it’s absence we ever start like 4 or fewer laps of playtime.” Helga: “Look, you guys, I like Arnold as much as the next kid, but it’s a school courtyard and we gotta have fun.” George: Off Screen “Yeah, alright!” Game Sounds Gerald: “Last time I checked hand held video games were fun, come on, let’s go over there.” Gerald, Phoebe, Harold, Sid, Stinky, Rhonda, Sheena, Lila, Eugene and Brainy go over to George who is playing a hand held video game called ‘Monkey-Man Enemy Battle’. Video Game Sounds George: “Left, go, right, go, left go, right go, yeah and jump.” Sid: “Hey, George, what you got there?” George: “‘Monkey-Man Enemy Battle’, it’s a total banana blast.” George finally beats a high score in ‘Monkey-Man Enemy Battle’. George: “Yeah, alright, I’m on fire dude!” Stinky: “Willikers, can I try out that hand held video game?” George: “Sure, Sid, but be warned, it’s very challenging.” George gives ‘Monkey-Man Enemy Battle’ to Stinky. George: “Watch out for the quick sand, it’s a booby trap and stay away from the lions, tigers, panthers, bears and cheetahs, they might……Game Scoring Sounds wow, Sid, you’re pretty good at this handheld video game.” Sid: “Hey, it’s just a game, isn’t it?” Rhonda: “It’s too bad that Arnold’s not here, he would get quite a kick outta this 1.” George: “Yeah right, Katie, it’s a real shame.” Phoebe: “What’s that supposed to mean, George?” George: “Well, Phoebe, let’s just say Arnold’s not as popular as you think he is.” Stinky: “Willikers, That ain’t a hilarious joke, George.” George: “Oh yeah? who’s joking?” Sheena: “Are you actually suggesting that you don’t like Arnold, George?” George: “Do I need to spell it out for you in math problems, Sheena? me-Arnold=good, get it? George grabs his ‘Monkey-Man Enemy Battle’ hand held video game back from Sid. Eugene: “Gee whiz, a kid who doesn’t like Arnold? I never thought I see the entire day.” George walks by playing his ‘Monkey-Man Enemy Battle’ hand held video game and Arnold is outta detention. Inhales Exhales Harold: “Arnold, your entire time was fair.” Arnold: “Was there any other question?” Helga: “No, Arnold, but here’s a question for you, ‘What did you ever do to George?’.” Arnold: “George? from our class? nothing, why’s that?” Gerald: “He says he doesn’t like you, Arnold.” Arnold: “Gerald, never kid around with a kid who hasn’t had his playtime.” Stinky: “He ain’t kidding, Arnold, George just told us he doesn’t like you.” Eugene: “He spelled it out for us in math problems.” Arnold: “This has gotta be some sort of mistake or something, wait 1 single minute, where’s that George guy anyway?” 118 School Bell Ringing Gerald: “I guess you gotta see him in Mr. Simmons’ classroom.” Arnold: “Yeah right, Gerald, I guess I will.” Scene 2: Mr. Simmons’ classroom Mr. Simmons: “Although they were both founding fathers, John Adams and Thomas Jefferson didn’t always get along, Jefferson thought Adams was a stuffy Bostonian who liked big government and didn’t know how to have a good time, Adams thought Jefferson was a know it all show off who didn’t do anything, but build his house and get up at 3:00 in the afternoon.” Arnold: Whispers “Psst, Iggy pass it down.” Arnold gives the rolled up paper to Iggy and he passes it down to George. Mr. Simmons: “Of course, both of those gentlemen might’ve benefited from counseling, but alas, they were born too soon, although I sometimes wonder if even a good counselor wouldn’t have been wasting our founding fathers who didn’t think twice about extruding an entire gender from their ranks, I mean, where were the founding mothers?” Arnold: “That’s unbelievable.” Mr. Simmons: “Correct, Arnold.” Scene 3: Back outside the PS 118 School courtyard 118 School Bell Ringing Again 118 Students Cheering Wildly Gerald: “So what’s it gonna be? kickball or basketball?” Eugene: “Anything but volleyball, I still got a wedgie from yesterday’s game.” Harold: “Why must we participate? are there no other games without winning and losing?” Phoebe: “A game by definition pre-supposes winning and losing, Harold, otherwise it won’t be a game, it would be a…..a……” Helga: “Snooze fest? I vote for softball, what about you, Football Head?” Arnold: “I don’t know, Helga, what do you think George will wanna play?” Helga: “George? he won’t play with all of us, Arnold, he doesn’t like you, remember?” Arnold: “We’ll see about that, Helga.” Arnold walks around over to George who is 1ce again playing ‘Monkey-Man Enemy Battle’ George: “Alright, come on, go.” Arnold: “Hey, George, you know, I was hearing some conversations and……well, do you like me?” George: “No, Arnold, I don’t.” Arnold: “Oh, uh, well, thanks anyway, George.” George: “No problem, Arnold.” Arnold walks around back over to Gerald, Phoebe, Harold, Sid, Stinky, Rhonda, Sheena, Lila, Eugene and Brainy……… Gerald: “Now do you believe us, Arnold?” Arnold: "I…..I can’t believe this, Gerald, I won’t believe this." Gerald: “We all go through this, Arnold, heck, there are some people that don’t like me 'cause they can’t take a lost.” Phoebe: “Some other people find me irritatingly bright.” Eugene: “And me a tiny bit too clumsy.” Stinky: “And me simply too dad-gum country western.” Rhonda: “The fact is, Arnold, there are over 5 billion people on earth and it’ll be impossible for all of them to like you or anybody else.” Arnold: “But, Rhonda, come on, everybody likes me.” Helga: “Don’t you think you’re exaggerating, Football Head?” Arnold: “I’m telling you, Helga, everybody likes me and I’ll prove it.” Meanwhile with Iggy and Peapod Kid…………… Arnold: “Hey, Iggy, hey, Peapod Kid, what do you guys think about me?” Iggy: “You’re awesome, Arnold.” Peapod Kid: “You rock on fire, dude.” Meanwhile with Nadine………. Arnold: “Nadine, how would you rate me?” Nadine: “Very clever, Arnold.” Meanwhile with Torvald………… Arnold: “Hey, Torvald, do you like me?” Torvald: “Of course I like you, Football Headed Dude, especially when I’m kicking your butt at sports.” Arnold: “But, Torvald, you never kick my butt at sports.” Torvald: “Oh, yeah, right, but you’re still an alright dude.” Arnold: “See that, you guys? even my worst enemy likes me and very soon, George will too or my name isn’t Arnold Shortman.” Harold: Off Screen “Arnold Shortman? I like that dude.” Meanwhile back with George and his ‘Monkey-Man Enemy Battle’ hand held video game with his batteries now deceased. Arnold: “Hey, George, what are you doing?” George: “Nothing, Arnold, now that my batteries are deceased.” Arnold: “Goodness, George, that’s a shame, hey, how ‘bout a game of catch to get your mind off your problems?” George: “No thanks, Arnold.” Arnold: “Some hula hoops maybe?” George: “I’ll pass.” Arnold: “How ‘bout hand ball?” George: “Awesome, I like hand ball.” Arnold: “Alright!” George: “Hey, James, you wanna play some hand ball?” George leaves to go play hand ball with James. Arnold puts his blue baseball cap on the ground. Sighs In Disappointment Scene 3: Back in the PS 118 School lunch room Gerald: “Hey, Arnold, you feelin’ alright?” Arnold: “It’s this entire George not liking me thing, Gerald, it’s got me torn down.” Harold: “Maybe George will prove through live through sagging spirits, Arnold.” Arnold: “Well, Harold, I suppose it couldn’t hurt.” Arnold eats a brownie with pecans in it. Arnold: “Whoa, are those things good?” Stinky: “Nothin’ says close friends forever like a freshly baked brownie.” Arnold: “You know what, Stinky? You might’ve got something there.” Arnold takes the entire plate of brownies over to George. Stinky: “Willikers, on account of I had something there.” Arnold: “Hey, George, old buddy.” George: “Uh, yeah, hey, Arnold.” Arnold eats another brownie with pecans in it. Arnold: “Oh, boy, those are some delightful brownies.” George: “Did you just say ‘brownies’, Arnold?” Arnold: “Yeah George, soft, fudgy and chewy, you wanna try 1?” George: “Well, Arnold, maybe just 1.” George tries a brownie with pecans in it. George: “Whoa, those brownies are…..uh…..do those brownies have pecans in them?” Arnold: “Yeah right, nothing but the best for my old buddy, George.” George spits out the pecan brownie in disgust. George: “Oh, gross, I’m allergic to pecans, gee whiz, Arnold, just because I don’t like you, there’s no reason to try and poison me!” George leaves the lunch table. Arnold: “But, George, I didn’t know, I………..” 118 School Bell Ringing Sighs In Disappointment Meanwhile outside PS 118 School…….. Arnold: “George is not that good in science, I can tutor him.” Gerald: “But, Arnold, you’re not good in science either.” Arnold: “It’s true, Gerald, but Phoebe can tutor me and I can tutor George.” Helga: “This is just getting a little bit weird, Arnold.” Sid: “Yeah right, Arnold, it’s like the more George dislikes you the more you want him to like you.” Phoebe: “A text book case, Sid, some people seem to always want the things they can’t have.” Arnold: “Things they can’t have, right? you guys, you just gave me an awesome idea, excuse me, please.” Arnold walks around over to George at the city bus stop. Arnold: “Look, George, I didn’t need to tell you this, but I think it’s only fair that you know, I don’t like you either.” The city bus appears and some kids get on it and deposit their coins in the coin slot. George: “You don’t, Arnold?” Arnold: “No, George, I don’t.” George: “Oh man, what a relief, now you don’t need to invite me over to your birthday party next year, Arnold.” George gets on the city bus and deposits his coins in the coin slot. Arnold: “Man, this not being liked stuff is the worse, Depressingly or worse than being stuck in detention all alone, Again but it’s better than being stuck in detention with George, wait 1 single minute, that’s it, tomorrow afternoon, I’m winning me a close friend.” Scene 4: The PS 118 School kickball field Harold: “What exactly are we waiting for, Helga?” Helga: “Beats me, Harold, Arnold said to wait here ‘til he initiates operation big trouble.” Arnold arrives on the PS 118 School kickball field. Arnold: “Alright, you guys, all’s in readiness, when’s Rhonda Lloyd up? that girl can really kick.” Rhonda is now standing on the home plate. Stinky: “Willikers, she’s on the home plate right now.” Rhonda kicks the red blue striped kick ball over to Iggy, then Peapod Kid and now George. George runs around to catch the red blue striped kick ball. Arnold removes the blue wash cloth off the sign that says No playing on the new grass……… George finally grabs the red blue striped kick ball. Principal Wartz: Off Screen “Freeze, Grass Toucher!” Principal Wartz: “Can’t you read the sign? ‘No playing on the new grass’!” George: “What? what sign, Principal Wartz?” Principal Wartz: “You just earned yourself an hour of detention, young man.” George: “But, but, Principal Wartz I……..” Principal Wartz: “Quit saying that disturbing word.” Principal Wartz takes George to detention in the PS 118 School lunch room. Phoebe: “I’m not certain I understand, Arnold, how’s getting George in so much trouble gonna make him like you any better?” Arnold: “Observe phase 2, Phoebe.” Arnold unwraps pink raspberry gum. Sounds Arnold spits out the pink raspberry gum, wraps it up in the pink raspberry gum wrapper and puts it on the ground. Curly: “Pink raspberry gum and litter? Principal Wartz, Principal Wartz, I got a 615!” Arnold: “Awesome.” Scene 5: Back in the PS 118 School lunch room again Principal Wartz is pacing around back and forth. Principal Wartz: “Well, it looks like I got 2 crazy hooligans for detention today, now both of you boys stay here and sit silently and begin feeling very sorry about what you did, I gotta go switch my insults, but I’ll be right back to check on both of you.” Arnold: “It looks like it’s just me and you, right, George?” George: “Well, Arnold, why don’t you pretend it’s just you? and I’ll pretend it’s just me? and we’ll both get through this with this little problem as possible.” Arnold: “Fine by me, George, I’m used to being in detention, I get through it by playing my red harmonica and since you’re not here…….” Arnold takes his red harmonica outta his right pocket. Inhales Deeply Playing ‘Darling Clementine’ On Red Harmonica♫ George looks at Arnold annoyingly. Continues Playing ‘Darling Clementine’ On Red Harmonica♫ George gets more annoyed by it. Bangs Fists On Lunch Table George: “Quit it, Arnold, I can’t take it anymore!” Arnold: “I thought you weren’t even here.” George: “Well, Arnold, I am here and I can’t even stand to hear anymore of that.” Arnold: “So you probably don’t wanna hear about the secret passageway either, George.” George: “That’s right, Arnold, I………what secret passageway?” Meanwhile in the custodian’s closet……….. George: “The custodian’s closet, Arnold?” Arnold: “To the untrained eye, George, but to a season professional like myself, an entrance to another world.” Arnold climbs through the big giant air vent. Arnold: “Are you in, George?” George: “Well, Arnold, am I ever?” Arnold and George crawl around in the big giant air vent. George: “Uh, Arnold, where are we going?” Arnold: “You’ll see, George, it’s a big surprise out there.” Arnold opens the other big giant air vent. Arnold: “Look right on the kitchen front, George.” Arnold releases a rope and he and George slide carefully outta the big giant air vent. Arnold: “1st stop, George, desserts and frozen treats.” Arnold opens the freezer and finds some ice cream pops. George: “Whoa, ice cream pops and look, Arnold, this 1’s labeled pecan free.” Arnold: “We aimed a please, eat up, George, there’s a lot more stops on the tour.” Arnold and George crawl around in the big giant air vent again. Principal Wartz: On Telephone “I just don’t understand why every single school principal on the district is an honor of the academy award, but me, yes, I know, but Principal Jacobson’s already been honored 3 times, it’s just not fair, I know he’s the mayor’s cousin, but I got his honor front row seats on the outstanding sides around town, it’s gotta come for something.” Ms. Jacobson: “What the heck?” Principal Wartz: “Yes, Nancy, what is it?” Ms. Gibson: “I…..I need your signature on this run, I mean…..requisition.” And George Giggling Silently Arnold opens the other big giant air vent and sees Lorenzo, Gary and Henry. Arnold: “Hey, Lorenzo, hey, Gary, hey, Henry, what’s going on?” Lorenzo + Gary + Henry: Unison “Nothing much, Arnold.” Lorenzo: “What news do you bring from the outside world, Arnold?” Arnold: “No news, Lorenzo, just a little more detention.” George: “This is the same Lorenzo from before, Arnold?” Arnold: “Yeah, George, the same Lorenzo from before, but here in this room, he likes computers and electronic devices.” George: “Oh, yeah, right, I see.” Arnold: “You guys, this is George.” Lorenzo: “Hey, George.” George: “Uh, yeah, hey, Lorenzo.” Arnold: “Hey, George, do you like comic books?” George: “Are you kidding me, Arnold? it’s only my 1 single greatest style in my entire life.” Arnold: “Well then, George, check this out.” Arnold opens the cabinet door and it reveals ‘Monkey-Man’ comic books and ‘Monkey-Man Monopoly’. George: “Whoa, a comic book liker’s dream and life.” Arnold: “And if a game of ‘Monkey-Man Monopoly’ is your game…..” George: “‘Monkey-Man Monopoly’, I thought that board game wasn’t even out in shops yet.” Arnold: “It’s now that Lorenzo, Gary and Henry are testing me out for the company.” Lorenzo: “That’s very far I gotta say it’s thrilling good fun.” Gary And George Laughing Uncontrollably In Unison Arnold: “Well, you guys, we better get back to the lunch room before Principal Wartz finds out we’re gone.” George: “Principal Wartz? oh yeah, the same school principal from before.” Arnold and George climb back up the rope and right into the big giant air vent. Lorenzo + Gary + George: Unison “Good luck, Arnold and George.” Arnold + George: Unison “Good luck, you guys.” Meanwhile………… George: “Whoa, Arnold, that was the most fun detention I ever had in my entire life.” Arnold: “Yeah right, George, well, I got this entire place pretty well wired, so I guess you probably, I don’t know, like me now, right?” George: “Uh, no, Arnold, I really don’t.” Arnold: “What the heck? why not, George? I…..I command you to give me an answer, George, you gotta tell me, right now, why, George, why don’t you like me?!?” George: “No reason, Arnold, I just don’t.” Sighs In Disappointment Arnold sits back down on his lunch table bench and Principal Wartz returns from his office. Principal Wartz: “Well, I hope you boys have learned your lesson.”” Arnold: “I sure did, Principal Wartz.” Principal Wartz: “Good, Arnold.” Arnold: “Yeah right, no matter what you do right or wrong, not everybody’s gonna like you.” Principal Wartz: “Oh, blast you, Arnold, just because I give you a detention doesn’t mean I don’t like you.” Arnold slaps his forehead with his right hand in disappointment. Fade to a black screen………… Category:Season 6 Transcripts Category:Transcripts